"i don't know enough about anything to preach to anyone, i don't have enough life experience to make assumptions about love, about what it means and what it does to us. but i've caught on recently, to something. through a series of painful realizations, it's started to make an odd sort of sense. not real sense, but the crazy, uninhibited sort of sense that only love can make. i've realized that everything we make ourselves do, everything we put ourselves through, there's no reason for it. the things we say, the places we go to on dates, the pda, the hand holding, the little notes, we only do these things because that's all we know of love. that's what we've seen on television and read about in books. that's the kind of love that we've been taught, is real. but it's only action. and actions might speak louder than words, but feeling means more than action. it's like a twisted game of rock-paper-scissors.

"i know that these things often do accompany real love. because if you're in love, you WANT to hold his hand. you want to leave a little note in his jacket pocket for his mom to find in the wash a week later, give to him, and know he's thinking of you. you want to smell him, you want him to hold you and tell you that you're perfect just the way you are. you want to kiss him and make him feel good. you want to listen to the music he listens to, just in the hopes that it will help you understand him better. you want to talk to his dog, and help his mom clean up in the kitchen, talk sports with his dad. you want to know everything. you want to put his needs ahead of your own, and you want to do it all so that he KNOWS you love him. but doing it when you're legitimately in love isn't playing by the rules. because in love, there are no rules. no one to tell you that you're doing it wrong, not even yourself. because to worry and nit pick over the small things is to look back. and love means not looking back. love means holding him, and being afraid. because you could lose him at any moment, but that fear is what keeps you hanging on. in love, anything goes, and that's okay. that's what is so beautiful about it."

- Le Love.


Haven't blogged in a while. Well, the computer crashed, so I couldn't really blog anyway. Hopefully we're changing the laptop to a new one. (: As well as the monitor and the keyboard :D The new monitor and keyboard's here already! (; Hahaha, the new monitor is cool. The screen's so much wider than the last one :D The bad thing is, though, I'm using the old laptop without any separate monitor. The screen's real small and I can't really see the font well. -.-

Going for street sales later, hopefully it would be a good experience? Haha. It's for charity after all :) Haven't blogged properly for so long, I think I've forgotten how. -.-

I'm adopting a new hobby: looking for music universities I can go to :D I want to pursue music, definitely, but I'm not really keen on studying in Yong Siew Toh Conservatory. The programs of study aren't really very deep and professional ): But if I have to then I will study in Yong Siew Toh. Though preferably not. Programs of study not really to my liking. So I'm looking for music unniversities overseas, and I found the Britain Royal Academy of Music. However, looking at the audition requirements, it doesn't look like I'll be able to get in, because they do not hold auditions in Singapore, and submitting a video recording will not be able to get you a scholarship. -.- So that university's out. Then I found another one: Sydney Conservatorium of Music :D Looks appealing (: Ooh, Ashley said she was going to Sydney to study music right? OMG is this the school she's going to :D:D:D Anyway, must see if the place meets my demands and hopes and whatnot. Looking for overseas schools is cool, it's like planning your own future, but that doesn't mean that I'll actually go overseas to study. Because although I really want to pursue music in the best possible way, I don't want to leave you. You may actually end up making me decide to stay in Singapore (;

Haven't seen you for so long. That feeling of emptiness heightens each day I'm apart from you. This emptiness may kill me. I miss you so much; I miss your arms around me, I miss lying on your shoulder, I miss your fingers between my own. Those calls willingly let me hear your voice again, and that makes me happy. But then time chooses to be cruel and passes so quickly, and before I've had enough of you, it's time to go. Not that I would ever get enough of you in the first place. No matter how late it is, I'll never be willing to put down the phone, and when I do, the feeling of emptiness comes back again, only worse. Saying "I love you" to each other, that brings a warm fuzzy feeling in my heart. But with you missing, I'll never be whole. Sorry for stealing your heart; you stole mine first, you didn't even ask for permission, and I needed something to fill in the spaces.


P.S. I love you.

"i don't know enough about anything to preach to anyone, i don't have enough life experience to make assumptions about love, about what it means and what it does to us. but i've caught on recently, to something. through a series of painful realizations, it's started to make an odd sort of sense. not real sense, but the crazy, uninhibited sort of sense that only love can make. i've realized that everything we make ourselves do, everything we put ourselves through, there's no reason for it. the things we say, the places we go to on dates, the pda, the hand holding, the little notes, we only do these things because that's all we know of love. that's what we've seen on television and read about in books. that's the kind of love that we've been taught, is real. but it's only action. and actions might speak louder than words, but feeling means more than action. it's like a twisted game of rock-paper-scissors.

"i know that these things often do accompany real love. because if you're in love, you WANT to hold his hand. you want to leave a little note in his jacket pocket for his mom to find in the wash a week later, give to him, and know he's thinking of you. you want to smell him, you want him to hold you and tell you that you're perfect just the way you are. you want to kiss him and make him feel good. you want to listen to the music he listens to, just in the hopes that it will help you understand him better. you want to talk to his dog, and help his mom clean up in the kitchen, talk sports with his dad. you want to know everything. you want to put his needs ahead of your own, and you want to do it all so that he KNOWS you love him. but doing it when you're legitimately in love isn't playing by the rules. because in love, there are no rules. no one to tell you that you're doing it wrong, not even yourself. because to worry and nit pick over the small things is to look back. and love means not looking back. love means holding him, and being afraid. because you could lose him at any moment, but that fear is what keeps you hanging on. in love, anything goes, and that's okay. that's what is so beautiful about it."

- Le Love.


Haven't blogged in a while. Well, the computer crashed, so I couldn't really blog anyway. Hopefully we're changing the laptop to a new one. (: As well as the monitor and the keyboard :D The new monitor and keyboard's here already! (; Hahaha, the new monitor is cool. The screen's so much wider than the last one :D The bad thing is, though, I'm using the old laptop without any separate monitor. The screen's real small and I can't really see the font well. -.-

Going for street sales later, hopefully it would be a good experience? Haha. It's for charity after all :) Haven't blogged properly for so long, I think I've forgotten how. -.-

I'm adopting a new hobby: looking for music universities I can go to :D I want to pursue music, definitely, but I'm not really keen on studying in Yong Siew Toh Conservatory. The programs of study aren't really very deep and professional ): But if I have to then I will study in Yong Siew Toh. Though preferably not. Programs of study not really to my liking. So I'm looking for music unniversities overseas, and I found the Britain Royal Academy of Music. However, looking at the audition requirements, it doesn't look like I'll be able to get in, because they do not hold auditions in Singapore, and submitting a video recording will not be able to get you a scholarship. -.- So that university's out. Then I found another one: Sydney Conservatorium of Music :D Looks appealing (: Ooh, Ashley said she was going to Sydney to study music right? OMG is this the school she's going to :D:D:D Anyway, must see if the place meets my demands and hopes and whatnot. Looking for overseas schools is cool, it's like planning your own future, but that doesn't mean that I'll actually go overseas to study. Because although I really want to pursue music in the best possible way, I don't want to leave you. You may actually end up making me decide to stay in Singapore (;

Haven't seen you for so long. That feeling of emptiness heightens each day I'm apart from you. This emptiness may kill me. I miss you so much; I miss your arms around me, I miss lying on your shoulder, I miss your fingers between my own. Those calls willingly let me hear your voice again, and that makes me happy. But then time chooses to be cruel and passes so quickly, and before I've had enough of you, it's time to go. Not that I would ever get enough of you in the first place. No matter how late it is, I'll never be willing to put down the phone, and when I do, the feeling of emptiness comes back again, only worse. Saying "I love you" to each other, that brings a warm fuzzy feeling in my heart. But with you missing, I'll never be whole. Sorry for stealing your heart; you stole mine first, you didn't even ask for permission, and I needed something to fill in the spaces.


P.S. I love you.