Letter for You.
I'm so sorry I brought you into this. I'm so, so sorry...
I knew that things were way too perfect. I knew they were. And I was waiting for God to strike me down again. I told you that, and you reassured me that nothing will go wrong... I don't know whether what has happened can be classified as "wrong" or not. But whatever it is, I'm so sorry for pulling you into this mess. I can't say how sorry I am, because I just... it's too much for me to express in words. It's my fault this happened. And every time it gets worse. I don't know... I don't know what to do anymore. I know you're not angry at me, but I'm angry at myself for bringing you into so much trouble. I'm so sorry...
Right now I can't even tell whether the worst is over. Whether things will go back to normal. I don't know if we'll be the same again. I can't tell what's going to happen... And that's what scares me the most. I've been praying and praying but nothing has happened yet... I just can't seem to cool down. I can't concentrate as well as before, I can't do anything properly, because the fear of the future is always dwelling in my mind, and it still is. But I just want to say, I really really hope for the best, that things can become normal, can become perfect again, like it was before.
I'm glad that I was able to meet you on Wednesday. The memory of that day is still fresh in my mind, and I just keep playing the events of that day in my head. I guess, even if you can't speak to me anymore after this, at least I'll have this memory, and all those others over the past year, to keep. I'm glad we had that talk the night before, about God, about my concerns, about my paranoia. You're always there to comfort me, to help me tone down my paranoia, to reassure me that everything will be alright. I thank you so much for that. Over the past year, I definitely would not have made it through without you always there to support me. But this time, I don't know if we'll pull through. Honestly, I don't. I pray to God so many times, with so much pain in my heart to bear, but man will never know the future. I just hope for the best. The worst at my side is probably over, but I'm still concerned for yours, and how that would affect us.
I'm tearing as I type this, ha, how embarrassing considering I'm at school. My friend's providing some mood music in the background as well. This fear of the indefinite future is tearing me apart from the inside... But we'll pull through. I'm 98% sure of it. 98 percent. But there's always that fear inside, nonetheless.
I just want you to know right now that I love you with all my heart. Always have, always will. No matter what happens, no matter what people say, I'll always love you. For the past four years, this love hasn't failed me. And it won't. I promise you it won't.
I just hope for the best right now.
Letter for You.
I'm so sorry I brought you into this. I'm so, so sorry...
I knew that things were way too perfect. I knew they were. And I was waiting for God to strike me down again. I told you that, and you reassured me that nothing will go wrong... I don't know whether what has happened can be classified as "wrong" or not. But whatever it is, I'm so sorry for pulling you into this mess. I can't say how sorry I am, because I just... it's too much for me to express in words. It's my fault this happened. And every time it gets worse. I don't know... I don't know what to do anymore. I know you're not angry at me, but I'm angry at myself for bringing you into so much trouble. I'm so sorry...
Right now I can't even tell whether the worst is over. Whether things will go back to normal. I don't know if we'll be the same again. I can't tell what's going to happen... And that's what scares me the most. I've been praying and praying but nothing has happened yet... I just can't seem to cool down. I can't concentrate as well as before, I can't do anything properly, because the fear of the future is always dwelling in my mind, and it still is. But I just want to say, I really really hope for the best, that things can become normal, can become perfect again, like it was before.
I'm glad that I was able to meet you on Wednesday. The memory of that day is still fresh in my mind, and I just keep playing the events of that day in my head. I guess, even if you can't speak to me anymore after this, at least I'll have this memory, and all those others over the past year, to keep. I'm glad we had that talk the night before, about God, about my concerns, about my paranoia. You're always there to comfort me, to help me tone down my paranoia, to reassure me that everything will be alright. I thank you so much for that. Over the past year, I definitely would not have made it through without you always there to support me. But this time, I don't know if we'll pull through. Honestly, I don't. I pray to God so many times, with so much pain in my heart to bear, but man will never know the future. I just hope for the best. The worst at my side is probably over, but I'm still concerned for yours, and how that would affect us.
I'm tearing as I type this, ha, how embarrassing considering I'm at school. My friend's providing some mood music in the background as well. This fear of the indefinite future is tearing me apart from the inside... But we'll pull through. I'm 98% sure of it. 98 percent. But there's always that fear inside, nonetheless.
I just want you to know right now that I love you with all my heart. Always have, always will. No matter what happens, no matter what people say, I'll always love you. For the past four years, this love hasn't failed me. And it won't. I promise you it won't.
I just hope for the best right now.
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I'm so sorry I brought you into this. I'm so, so sorry...