Lush.
I'm just a disappointment. To my family, to my friends, to my teachers, to everyone. It's so rare to see me do anything which makes them happy, let alone proud of me. In my family, I'm causing the most problems, the most heartache, the most pain, the most disappointment. Whereas my older brother's so perfect, with his perfect grades and his perfect O Level score and his perfect attitude and his perfect school RJC. Compared to him I'm such a low-life. My older brother got a new laptop in his room... Not really jealous about these kinds of things now, but it's the fact that my parents actually trust him enough to put a laptop into his room which puts me off. I hate that I can't be acceptable to even my family alone.
Every time my parents or teachers talk about me, it's always about bad things. My attitude, my behaviour, something I did... The list is just endless. It's a mystery how it no one seems to want to kill me; maybe they do, but they just don't voice it out right in front of my face. I've grown accustomed to being called a disappointment. It's really another nickname for me I guess. Among others like "untrustworthy" and "irresponsible".
I'm trying my very best. I really am.
This is one of the few things which make me want to leave NYGH sooner. Just to have a new start, you know? In a new environment, in a new school... But while I'm here I guess I'll just have to continue doing my best, even if that means that I'll be disappointing everyone further.
To everyone: I'm sorry I can't meet your standards. I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment. But please do know that I am trying my very best, and I really want to make you all proud, with all my heart. But I know your expectations are high, and perhaps I haven't met my potential yet. I'll try even harder to meet those expectations.
This has been on my mind since this morning... Finally let it out on my blog. Don't know who'll read it, but whoever reads it will learn something more about me I guess, haha... I need to be more proactive, more initiative, more responsible. I'm still learning, and it'll take time. Bear with me, please.
You can rain on my parade, but I control my weather.
You can stop two people from seeing each other, from even keeping contact, but you cannot stop two people from loving each other.VOTD:"For this is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another." - 1 John 3:11
Lush.
I'm just a disappointment. To my family, to my friends, to my teachers, to everyone. It's so rare to see me do anything which makes them happy, let alone proud of me. In my family, I'm causing the most problems, the most heartache, the most pain, the most disappointment. Whereas my older brother's so perfect, with his perfect grades and his perfect O Level score and his perfect attitude and his perfect school RJC. Compared to him I'm such a low-life. My older brother got a new laptop in his room... Not really jealous about these kinds of things now, but it's the fact that my parents actually trust him enough to put a laptop into his room which puts me off. I hate that I can't be acceptable to even my family alone.
Every time my parents or teachers talk about me, it's always about bad things. My attitude, my behaviour, something I did... The list is just endless. It's a mystery how it no one seems to want to kill me; maybe they do, but they just don't voice it out right in front of my face. I've grown accustomed to being called a disappointment. It's really another nickname for me I guess. Among others like "untrustworthy" and "irresponsible".
I'm trying my very best. I really am.
This is one of the few things which make me want to leave NYGH sooner. Just to have a new start, you know? In a new environment, in a new school... But while I'm here I guess I'll just have to continue doing my best, even if that means that I'll be disappointing everyone further.
To everyone: I'm sorry I can't meet your standards. I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment. But please do know that I am trying my very best, and I really want to make you all proud, with all my heart. But I know your expectations are high, and perhaps I haven't met my potential yet. I'll try even harder to meet those expectations.
This has been on my mind since this morning... Finally let it out on my blog. Don't know who'll read it, but whoever reads it will learn something more about me I guess, haha... I need to be more proactive, more initiative, more responsible. I'm still learning, and it'll take time. Bear with me, please.
You can rain on my parade, but I control my weather.
You can stop two people from seeing each other, from even keeping contact, but you cannot stop two people from loving each other.VOTD:"For this is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another." - 1 John 3:11
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I'm just a disappointment. To my family, to my friends, to my teachers, to everyone. It's so rare to see me do anything which makes them happy, let alone proud of me. In my family, I'm causing the most problems, the most heartache, the most pain, the most disappointment. Whereas my older brother's so perfect, with his perfect grades and his perfect O Level score and his perfect attitude and his perfect school RJC. Compared to him I'm such a low-life. My older brother got a new laptop in his room... Not really jealous about these kinds of things now, but it's the fact that my parents actually trust him enough to put a laptop into his room which puts me off. I hate that I can't be acceptable to even my family alone.