"How do you ever stop loving someone? Or rather get over or not be affected by him/her at all."
It is hard to ever stop loving someone. When you love someone, a part of you becomes theirs. And when you want to stop loving that person, like it or not, it'll feel like a part of you is missing. Even those who claim that they're completely over their ex may still feel something when they see their ex. I mean, how can you not feel anything when the both of you have gone through so much together, and shared your deepest feelings and secrets with each other? Memories stay in your heart. They may fade, but you will still be able to recall them, especially if those memories are strong. It is hard to ever stop loving someone, even if it's minimized to just a subtle feeling.
One way to stop (or rather, minimize) getting affected by him/her is to distract yourself. Instead of staying at home thinking about him/her, go out and spend time with your friends, watch a movie, play games, hang out, do anything and everything under the sun that will help to keep your mind away from him/her. That way, your mind will always be busy having fun to think of him/her. Even when you're alone, you can read a book/magazine or adopt a hobby. The only time you'll have to think about him/her will be right before you sleep, and even then, try to think of something else instead that'll make you smile and laugh.
Another thing you need to do (especially when alone) is to stop tempting your mind into thinking of him/her. Meaning, don't go to his/her Facebook profile page to read his/her wall. Don't read his/her tweets too much on Twitter, and unfollow him/her if you really have to. Don't look at the photos of you two together (if you have any). Don't read old letters/emails sent to each other. This may sound cruel, but in a blunt way, shut him/her out of your life until you are sure that you are not affected by anything he/she does or says any longer. I'm not saying that you two can't be friends anymore, but it's a necessary, temporary condition that you need to apply in your life to avoid getting more heartaches.
Lastly, keep a distance from him/her. Settle any conflicts between the both of you (if there are any), but after that, minimize contact with him/her until you feel that you've become mostly unaffected by him/her. After that perhaps you two could meet up and have a nice talk. It may be awkward, but I feel that it's necessary to clean up whatever there is left, to pick up the broken pieces, so that the both of you can come clean with each other, before going your own separate ways. Let him/her know that he/she is a good person, that you cherish the memories you had together, and wish him/her the best in their future endeavours. And of course you have to mean it.
It isn't easy to stop being affected by someone who was once so close to you. It may take weeks, months or even years to get over him/her completely, and even then, the memories you had together remain. Feelings for him/her won't completely fade away, but if you try hard enough, you'll eventually be able to become unaffected by him/her, and even better, find someone else who's much more worth your time. :)
"How do you ever stop loving someone? Or rather get over or not be affected by him/her at all."
It is hard to ever stop loving someone. When you love someone, a part of you becomes theirs. And when you want to stop loving that person, like it or not, it'll feel like a part of you is missing. Even those who claim that they're completely over their ex may still feel something when they see their ex. I mean, how can you not feel anything when the both of you have gone through so much together, and shared your deepest feelings and secrets with each other? Memories stay in your heart. They may fade, but you will still be able to recall them, especially if those memories are strong. It is hard to ever stop loving someone, even if it's minimized to just a subtle feeling.
One way to stop (or rather, minimize) getting affected by him/her is to distract yourself. Instead of staying at home thinking about him/her, go out and spend time with your friends, watch a movie, play games, hang out, do anything and everything under the sun that will help to keep your mind away from him/her. That way, your mind will always be busy having fun to think of him/her. Even when you're alone, you can read a book/magazine or adopt a hobby. The only time you'll have to think about him/her will be right before you sleep, and even then, try to think of something else instead that'll make you smile and laugh.
Another thing you need to do (especially when alone) is to stop tempting your mind into thinking of him/her. Meaning, don't go to his/her Facebook profile page to read his/her wall. Don't read his/her tweets too much on Twitter, and unfollow him/her if you really have to. Don't look at the photos of you two together (if you have any). Don't read old letters/emails sent to each other. This may sound cruel, but in a blunt way, shut him/her out of your life until you are sure that you are not affected by anything he/she does or says any longer. I'm not saying that you two can't be friends anymore, but it's a necessary, temporary condition that you need to apply in your life to avoid getting more heartaches.
Lastly, keep a distance from him/her. Settle any conflicts between the both of you (if there are any), but after that, minimize contact with him/her until you feel that you've become mostly unaffected by him/her. After that perhaps you two could meet up and have a nice talk. It may be awkward, but I feel that it's necessary to clean up whatever there is left, to pick up the broken pieces, so that the both of you can come clean with each other, before going your own separate ways. Let him/her know that he/she is a good person, that you cherish the memories you had together, and wish him/her the best in their future endeavours. And of course you have to mean it.
It isn't easy to stop being affected by someone who was once so close to you. It may take weeks, months or even years to get over him/her completely, and even then, the memories you had together remain. Feelings for him/her won't completely fade away, but if you try hard enough, you'll eventually be able to become unaffected by him/her, and even better, find someone else who's much more worth your time. :)
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