Not a box of chocolates.
The memories are just too fresh. I remember them as if they happened yesterday. In reality, it's almost been a year. Or at least three quarters of a year. I can't help them from coming back to me involuntarily, and when they do, they come in waves. And they don't cease until something else (like the bus jerking) snaps me out of it. What's wrong with me? Why do I still remember these things when I should be feeling nothing at all? When I should be focusing on other more important (supposedly) things?
I hate the uncertainty of the future. I hate how I'm doing something with the full knowledge that it will probably not last. I hate how half-hearted I become sometimes. I envy those adults who have already settled down securely. Sometimes I want never to have children because of the burden that would be on their shoulders once they're brought in the world. Because I don't want anyone to suffer like I am suffering.
Why do I feel sad when I see others? Shouldn't I be feeling unique, special? Well, I don't. I can't keep avoiding this.
Not a box of chocolates.
The memories are just too fresh. I remember them as if they happened yesterday. In reality, it's almost been a year. Or at least three quarters of a year. I can't help them from coming back to me involuntarily, and when they do, they come in waves. And they don't cease until something else (like the bus jerking) snaps me out of it. What's wrong with me? Why do I still remember these things when I should be feeling nothing at all? When I should be focusing on other more important (supposedly) things?
I hate the uncertainty of the future. I hate how I'm doing something with the full knowledge that it will probably not last. I hate how half-hearted I become sometimes. I envy those adults who have already settled down securely. Sometimes I want never to have children because of the burden that would be on their shoulders once they're brought in the world. Because I don't want anyone to suffer like I am suffering.
Why do I feel sad when I see others? Shouldn't I be feeling unique, special? Well, I don't. I can't keep avoiding this.
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