So sorry for the lack of updates again, school is reaching it's peak now, with prelims and As both coming up. After this post I plan to take a hiatus until after A Levels before I post again, really have no time left to fill you guys in now.

Speaking of exams, I'm beginning to panic a little bit. It's probably my fault for procrastinating for so long, but I really need to see more improvement in my own work. Somehow there seems to be this invisible psychological barrier which is preventing me from having a breakthrough in subjects like Math and Chemistry. It seems that no matter how much I do I don't improve much, or rather I can't. Maybe it's just me not trying hard enough to do well. And with all this pressure around me, I don't see why I can't push myself even more to do better, not for other people but really for myself. I feel like I haven't actually unleashed my full potential as of today, even with exams just outside the front door. You need to buck up, Hilary. Buck up.

Various university applications have already been opened, and I, together with many others, am in the midst of finishing applications and signing up for auditions. One day while I was filling out an application form, I thought to myself: wow, I'm really going for this. This is getting real. I am really going to sign up for US and UK music conservatories. It made me think back to how I got here, how I became so sure that I wanted to do music, when in the past even practising the piano for a few minutes was a chore. But with the help of various teachers, friends, and my parents, encouraging me to go for it and to never give up, telling me that I have the capabilities to reach that level even when I so often think I don't have it in me, I've finally reached this stage. And I am really going for it. Of course, without a scholarship I can't even go overseas to study, let alone study music. That should be enough pressure in and of itself to make me study harder, right? Then why am I not doing it?

It's a blessing that we have about 12 days to prepare for the rest of the prelim papers, and I have to make use of them to the fullest. 12 days isn't a lot, but it's enough to get me somewhere. Come on, Hilary, you can do this.

So sorry for the lack of updates again, school is reaching it's peak now, with prelims and As both coming up. After this post I plan to take a hiatus until after A Levels before I post again, really have no time left to fill you guys in now.

Speaking of exams, I'm beginning to panic a little bit. It's probably my fault for procrastinating for so long, but I really need to see more improvement in my own work. Somehow there seems to be this invisible psychological barrier which is preventing me from having a breakthrough in subjects like Math and Chemistry. It seems that no matter how much I do I don't improve much, or rather I can't. Maybe it's just me not trying hard enough to do well. And with all this pressure around me, I don't see why I can't push myself even more to do better, not for other people but really for myself. I feel like I haven't actually unleashed my full potential as of today, even with exams just outside the front door. You need to buck up, Hilary. Buck up.

Various university applications have already been opened, and I, together with many others, am in the midst of finishing applications and signing up for auditions. One day while I was filling out an application form, I thought to myself: wow, I'm really going for this. This is getting real. I am really going to sign up for US and UK music conservatories. It made me think back to how I got here, how I became so sure that I wanted to do music, when in the past even practising the piano for a few minutes was a chore. But with the help of various teachers, friends, and my parents, encouraging me to go for it and to never give up, telling me that I have the capabilities to reach that level even when I so often think I don't have it in me, I've finally reached this stage. And I am really going for it. Of course, without a scholarship I can't even go overseas to study, let alone study music. That should be enough pressure in and of itself to make me study harder, right? Then why am I not doing it?

It's a blessing that we have about 12 days to prepare for the rest of the prelim papers, and I have to make use of them to the fullest. 12 days isn't a lot, but it's enough to get me somewhere. Come on, Hilary, you can do this.